I learned what *esophageal atresia was the day Sweets was born

My water broke on my car ride home from work. I was on the beltway when I felt the first trickle. I passed a couple of toll booths before I felt more trickles. I called my husband and put on my emergency lights. I prayed to G-d over and over to get me home safe. Thankfully, I made it. As soon as I stepped out of the car, my water gave way all over the driveway.  It was amazing and scary. We gathered our things and we were off … when we arrived at the hospital; the ultrasound showed that Olivia's arm was blocking her way out of the birth canal. My doctor said we had to do a c-section. 

Olivia was born Monday, Sept 15, 2014 at 7:44 p.m. She was 5lbs and 18 inches. Upon delivery, Olivia's right arm (humerus bone) was broken. A few hours later the doctors found out she was suffering from tracheoesophageal fistula, a form of *esophageal atresia. This means that her upper esophagus ended and did not connect with her lower esophagus and stomach. The lower esophagus connected to her windpipe instead. Without surgery, Olivia would not be able to eat. I had a healthy pregnancy. Nothing ever indicated that there was an issue with the baby. My anxiety levels spiked. I was nauseous. I was scared. My itty bitty girl had to have surgery.

Once Olivia was stable, her arm was placed in a splint. She was scheduled for emergency surgery the very next day to repair her esophagus. The doctors felt her surgery was successful since they were able to pair up the top and bottom portions of her esophagus. We were told that only time will tell if she will ever need future repairs.

Olivia was in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive-Care Unit) recovering for three weeks. She was placed on a feeding tube to provide her nutrition until she could try breast milk from a bottle. Olivia had to learn how to swallow like a normal baby before she could be released. I pumped like crazy from day one. I was literally only producing drops of milk. I felt ashamed but determined. My body was not doing what I wanted it to do. I was trying to stock pile my milk for my little girl. Despite only drops I kept pumping and pumping. Into the second week of her NICU stay Olivia was allowed breast milk. She was given CCs to start. She gobbled it up. And wanted more! 

Each day the doctors increased her breast milk intake. And each day she ate so well. Within days she was off the feeding tube and drinking fully from a bottle. I wept every time I fed her. My girl was a fighter. When Olivia devoured 3 ounces of breast milk from her feedings with no obstruction the doctors allowed her to go home.

To date, her feedings have been going well. She even prefers to breast feed. I was so worried she wouldn't take the breast from being bottle fed, but she did! She’s gaining weight and loving everything about life. 

*Below is an explanation of esophageal atresia.

Really Shitty Virus = RSV

I've been a little absent because Sweets had an ugly bout with RSV. The virus took over our lives and scared us like a son of bitch. Poor Sweets had to endure being in the hospital, with a follow up trip back to the emergency room a week later. She’s only three months old and has been through so much (I haven’t told you the story from the day she was born. I’ll get to that in a post soon. I promise). 

My heart was breaking watching her fight this virus. I would say it took a little more than two weeks for it to run its course. And there’s nothing you can really do but keep your baby comfortable and watch the virus run its course. RSV pretty much stands for Really Shitty Virus … ok, that’s my opinion. It really stands for Respiratory Syncytial Virus and its symptoms are pretty much a common cold … but for little ones it can be deadly. 

If you don’t know what RSV is and you have an infant, I suggest you do some research to learn what you’re up against. 

Below are some RSV facts:

• Almost every baby will contract RSV by age 2, but only 1/3 of moms say they’ve heard of the virus.
• Serious RSV infection is the leading cause of infant hospitalization, responsible for more than 125,000 hospitalizations and up to 500 infant deaths each year.
• RSV occurs in epidemics each fall through spring.
• The CDC has defined “RSV season” as beginning in November and lasting through March for most parts of North America.
• There is no treatment for RSV, so it’s important for parents to take preventive steps to help protect their child (e.g., wash hands, toys, bedding frequently; avoid crowds and cigarette smoke).
• Certain babies (e.g. preemies, immature immune systems, lung/heart disease, etc.) are at an increased risk of developing serious RSV infection, so it’s important to speak with a pediatrician to determine if a baby may be at high risk for RSV, and discuss preventive measures.
• Symptoms of serious RSV infection include: persistent coughing or wheezing; rapid, difficult, or gasping breaths; blue color on the lips, mouth, or under the fingernails; high fever; extreme fatigue; and difficulty feeding. Parents should contact a medical professional immediately upon signs of these symptoms.
• There is a vaccine, but it’s costly and some insurance companies either partially pay for it or pay nothing at all. And the vaccine is also done in doses so your child isn’t protected until they receive all the doses which can take months.

Boogers and a humidifier

One week after starting daycare Sweets wakes up with a cold this morning. Hacking and sneezing I got her worked in with her doctor. Thankfully it's "just a cold." I don't mind that I'm smothered in baby snot. I feel bad for her. Wish I could make it go away. Doctor says all we can do is let it run its course. Until then we will be in bed with the humidifier and Netflix if you need us.

P.S. Today is her big brother's birthday, too. ):

5 Reasons Why I Love Breast Feeding

1) It's intoxicating: the bond breast feeding creates between my daughter and I is euphoric. I feel happy, relaxed and healthy. 

2) I love that I can nourish my daughter from my body. It feels like my soul is giving my child strength.

3) My daughter's milky smile lets me know that she is satisfied and loves her mommy's milk. 

4) It makes feeding simple. No need to warm a bottle or clean anything up. 

5) I get quiet one on one time with my daughter. Time where I can sing to her, talk to her and smother her with hugs and kisses. 

Shots hurt like a mo fo when you're 2 months old

Sweets got her two month immunizations yesterday. She was not happy about it. 

After hearing the little girl in the room next door to us scream bloody murder and climb the walls (literally), Sweets' face filled with fear. Her baby giggles turned to wimpers of fear. Her bottom lip fell to a frown. She was looking at me like "mom, what's happening?" My heart sank. I started singing her comfort song "You are my sunshine." Her wimpers subsided. She hugged me tightly. Damn you kid next door. 

Then it was Sweets' turn. She was pissed when the first shot stuck into her little thigh. Then hysterical crying began. At times she held her breath between cries. Almost turning blue. The nurse had two more shots to go on the other leg. Ugh. I wanted to take the shots for my girl. My body got warm and tense while I kept touching Sweets' face and singing. Mommy was trying to hold it together. I felt so bad. 

After we got home she took a nap, had a slight fever fit then some infant Tylenol ... she was back to herself at four this morning. I'm relieved. My poor Sweets. 

One year old wedding cake

Tradition states that on your one year wedding anniversary the couple is supposed eat a piece of their wedding cake. A piece that was frozen year ago. Well. Rick and I did. And it was ... not too bad. The cake was not as moist but the fruit in it tasted fine. The icing tasted fresh (to me at least).

Now that we ate a piece of year old cake what do we get? A hundred more years of wedded bliss? Or constipated? We will see!! 

Our first anniversary

Tomorrow is our one year wedding anniversary!

Two months after Rick and I got married I got pregnant with "Sweets." Our tiny girl was born a month early on September 15. I watch her sleep as I write this and feel so complete. Rick and I each have a son and now we have our daughter.

"Sweets" was born with complications, it was tough but she got through it ... and so did we. It was a tough experience that strengthened our marriage.

My husband is my best friend. He has held me up when I thought I couldn't stand. I love him for that. He is my best friend. My sunshine.